Monday, November 29, 2010

Cat Advice from Boss Kitty for 2010


#1. Always work on looking cute. That way, no matter what, you have the upper hand. Your human just loves it when you roll over or let him or her scratch your belly. This turns them directly into mush for you to command. (See my photo).

#2. Remember that your humans are yours to command. If they ever don't do what you want them to do right away, keep on meowing until they do. And refer to #1.

#3. Every once in awhile, go hide someplace you can't be easily found. Your humans will appreciate you more after they finally find you.

#4. If in doubt, zone out.

#5. Keep out of the way of your human's bottom paws. Remember that your humans are unbelievably clumsy. Period.

#6. A fun trick to play is to lie down in one of your human's traffic zones. It is hilarious to watch them try not to step on you, and/or fall. But don't actually get stepped on if you can help it. (refer to #5).

#7. Don't let your humans know that you are tricking them, ever. One way to do this is to act cool, and do something like lick your paw. For example, is your human falling over trying not to step on you. Play it cool, and direct your attention elsewhere.

#8. If you can, try to make your humans open and close doors for you as much as possible. This helps them feel useful.

#9. If your human does not put pleasing food in your dish, refuse to eat until he or she does.
and of course,

#10. Remember that you deserve to be petted, adored, and catered to. That is why you allowed your humans to invite you into their home, remember.


Boss Kitty

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